I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
