Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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