My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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