thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
