All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
