Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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