She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
