Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
