So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
