and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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