why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
