it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
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