he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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