There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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