i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I accidentally burped into my bong.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Sorry about my life...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
