This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
