Who wears a wallet chain?!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
