I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
