you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
