Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We were destined to go to rehab together
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
