I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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