I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
