The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
