East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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