glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
