Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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