i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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