I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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