carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize