And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
