Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
