On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
