I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she smelled like a LAN party
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize