Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
