We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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