i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
