At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
