I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
