And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Don't judge me ๐๐ผ his dick just whispers my name
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him heโd stop talking about his wife
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