Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
