the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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