You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
