I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
