I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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