We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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