Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
