Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sex in the backyard? Check.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
