he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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