My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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