Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
