Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
