i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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