I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
