I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
