just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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