As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
