If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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