I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
