I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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