shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
