So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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