Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
