I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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