There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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