im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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